TamingThe Tongue

The problem of taming or bridling the tongue has been for me amost difficult area in personal sanctification. I remember very distinctly andpainfully the occasions when I have offended because of my tongue. I am not soconcerned that I have offended others, especially if I had offended them fortheir good. But I am greatly concerned that I have on many occasions offendedGod by sinning with my tongue.

James tells us "For in many things we offend all. If any manoffend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle thewhole body" (Jas 3:2). I am far from perfect, and I have no doubt that noordinary man can be perfect in this life. Indeed, most of us are far far fromperfect. We do offend and sin, and one of the most common way in which we do sois by the tongue, for the tongue cannot easily be tamed. James has rightlyobserved: "For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and ofthings in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue canno man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison" (Jas 3:7-8). Manhas tamed practically every thing from fleas, to birds, to crocodiles, totigers and even to killer whales, but when it comes to the tongue, man hasfailed miserably. The tongue have for centuries continued to spew out evil anddeadly poison.

The tongue makes great boasts. James likens the tongue to the bitin the horse’s mouth and the rudder of a big ship (Jas 3:3-6). A small bit andyet it is used to control a great horse. A small rudder, yet it controls agreat ship.

Though the tongue may be small, the effects of its misuse arecertainly not inconsequential. Friendships have broken; marriages have turnedsour; churches have split; and nations have gone to war because of the tongue. Thetongue is capable of some of the worst evils, lying, backbiting, blasphemy,rumour mongering, character assassination, etc. Indeed Solomon in right, is henot: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" (Prov 18:21a).Few will disagree that one of the most common ways we violate the 6thcommandment, is not with the sword, but with our tongue (cf. Matt 5:22).

The tongue can be more dangerous than the pen, for we tend to bemore careful what we write because a record remains that can be used against us.But we let our words fly without restrain because we figure we can always denyit if it should get back to us. Indeed, the reason why there were very fewheresy trials in the Presbyterian Church of USA in the early part of thiscentury, even though the church was beginning to grow liberal, was becauserecording devices were not in popular use yet. Yes, if the pen is mightier thanthe sword, then the tongue is sharper and far more subtle and dangerous thanthe sword.

If the tongue is so evil as to be the major cause of our sinningagainst the Lord and against others, what should we do with it? Some of us maybe tempted to reach for the scissors in radical application of our Lord’steaching in Matthew 5:29-30 to excise that which offends. But wait! The tongueis also capable of much good.

The story is told of Xanthus,the Greek philosopher. One day he invited some of his friends over for dinnerand asked his servant to get the best things in the market. As the philosopherand his guest sat for dinner, the dishes were served. But one dish afteranother, nothing was serve but tongues of all sorts and cooked in all ways.Finally the philosopher could not contain himself and questioned his servant onwhy only tongues were served. The servant replied: "Is not the tongue thebest thing in the market, for it is the organ of eloquence, sociability,kindness and worship." The philosopher could not fault his servant, and sochallenged him to get the worst things in the market for dinner the next day.The next day again the dishes were served one at a time, fried tongue, boiledtongue, tongue soup, bird tongue, cow tongue. Finally Xanthus lost his patience and called hisservant for questioning. The servant said, "Is not the tongue the worstthing in the market, for it is the organ of blasphemy, defamation andlying?" Xanthuslearned a very precious lesson that day, which is also taught by James. Thetongue is capable of the worst evil and the best good. The tongue cannot beexcised for its evil without removing also the good that can come forth. Thetongue must be tamed, not removed.

How do we tame our tongue?

Repent and Examine YourHeart.

May I suggest that the first step is to realise that the sin ofthe tongue is reflective of our heart condition. The Lord teaches us, "Agood man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which isgood; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth thatwhich is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh" (Lk6:45). Similarly James expounds:

"⁹ Therewithbless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made afterthe similitude of God. ¹⁰ Out of the same mouth proceedethblessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. ¹¹ Doth a fountain send forth at the sameplace sweet water and bitter? ¹² Can the fig tree, my brethren, bearolive berries? either a vine, figs? so can no fountain both yield salt waterand fresh" (Jas 3:9-12).

Are you using your tongue to hurt, slander and blaspheme, anddoing do without feeling grief or so much as a fluttering conscience. Can youspeak evil against another and yet not feel that it is wrong? If so, you mustre-examine your foundations, for you may be unregenerate or living a horriblystunted Christian life. The tongue of the regenerate should be subdued and betamed. You may appear well in all other aspects of your Christian life. Youattend worship week after week, you attend fellowship and even have a dailydevotion without fail, but if the words that come forth of you are bitterness,hatred and slander, you know that your heart is not right. So James says,"If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue,but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain" (Jas 1:26).

Think Before You Speak.

Yes, the sin of the tongue is particularly a problem among thosewhose heart are not right, but even lest any be mistaken let us realise thateven those who have made great advance in personal piety and sanctification docontinue to sin with the tongue, so let us resolve with the Psalmist: "Isaid, I will take heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keepmy mouth with a bridle, while the wicked is before me" (Ps 39:1).

James teaches us "let every man be swift to hear, slow tospeak" (Jas 1:19). Solomon the wisest man teaches essentially the samething: "The heart of the righteous studieth to answer: but the mouth ofthe wicked poureth out evil things" (Prov 15:28). "Seest thou a manthat is hasty in his words? there is more hope of a fool than of him"(Prov 29:20).

But what are you to ponder and think about before you speak? May Isuggest 6 simple considerations, each corresponding to the word TONGUE.

True

Is what you are about to say true? One of the most common misusesof the tongue is that of lying. Lying is one of the six sins that our Lordexpressly hate (Prov 6:16-17). Remember also that lying need not necessarilytake an overt form. That is why the courtroom witness is required to swear to"tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." Fewgenuine believers will tell overt lies without feeling much guilt, but have youconsidered that exaggeration and half-truths are lies too? Resolve henceforthto tell only the truth.

Another form of falsehood, which is even more grievous is slander.Slander is equivalent to murder and receives the strongest condemnation of ourLord, "Whoso privily slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off: himthat hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer" (Ps 101:5) "Hethat hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is afool" (Prov 10:18). Slander is often a result of pride and hatred. Resolvenever to slander. The Christian must understand that it is far better to beslandered than to slander.

Ownable

We have noted how, we tend to be more careful when we writebecause the printed words can we held against us, so we tend to write verycarefully to make sure that we are not misunderstood, and that we would not befaulted. But we are much less careful with the tongue because we can pretend wenever said what we said, and we presume we can hide behind the curtain of time,being comforted, that we could always claim that those who heard us had heardwrongly. But recognise that although others may not have heard and what yousaid could be disputed in this life, yet, each word you say is indeliblyrecorded, and you cannot really deny what you said, for our Lord teaches us:"But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shallgive account thereof in the day of judgment" (Mt 12:36). Consider beforeyou speak: will you be embarrassed if your words are published against yourname? Dare you own up with a clear conscience to having spoken those words? Ifnot speak not those words.

Necessary

Yes what you are about to say is true and you would dare to own upto having spoken them, but are they necessary and profitable? "The tongueof the wise useth knowledge aright: but the mouth of fools poureth outfoolishness." (Prov 15:2). "Should a wise man utter vain knowledge,and fill his belly with the east wind? Should he reason with unprofitable talk?or with speeches wherewith he can do no good?" (Job 15:2-3). Many of usare accustomed to unnecessary small talk and many of us talk just for the sakeof talking, but let us realise that such idle talking are not only time wastersbut sometimes breed sin and unhappiness. Talking about the latest fashion orthe latest soccer matches may not be wrong of themselves, but are theyprofitable.

Gossip

The Palmist describes a believer as "He that backbiteth notwith his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbour, nor taketh up a reproachagainst his neighbour" (Ps 15: 3). Is what you are about to say heard fromsomeone? Is it shocking or juicy, but unsubstantiated? Will you repeat thematter? Repeat it not. "He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; buthe that repeateth a matter separateth very friends" (Prov 17:9). Gossipsalways distort. So repeat not a gossip, but rather seek to verify what youhear—if you are in a position to do so (see Deut 13:14).

Unfeigned

Always speak unpretentiously or unfeignedly. To do otherwise ishypocrisy. Our Lord reserved some of His harshest words for the hypocrites whenhe likened them unto "whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward,but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness" (Mt23:27-28). Consider if what you want to say is calculated to display yourselfto be more righteous or better than you really are. If so, say it not. It isfar better to allow a neutral or even bad impression of yourself to be known byothers than to give others a glorious picture of yourself only to have themdiscover that all was an illusion. "For he flattereth himself in his owneyes, until his iniquity be found to be hateful" (Ps 36:2)

Similarly, flattery of others is hypocritical and must always beavoided. Flattery does the greatest disservice to others: "A man thatflattereth his neighbour spreadeth a net for his feet" (Prov 29:5). Soresist all temptation to flatter: "He that rebuketh a man afterwards shallfind more favour than he that flattereth with the tongue" (Prov 28:23)

Edifying

Finally, resolve that everything you say tends to edify ratherthan to destroy. The wicked and the workers of iniquity "whet their tonguelike a sword, and bend their bows to shoot their arrows, even bitterwords" (Ps 64:3) But the speech of the righteous and workers ofrighteousness, must "be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye mayknow how ye ought to answer every man" (Col 4:6). Aim always to edify:"A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver"(Prov 25:11). "The mouth of the righteous speaketh wisdom, and his tonguetalketh of judgment" (Ps 37:30)

Conclusion

The Scripture has much to say regarding taming our tongues. Let ustherefore endeavour to examine our hearts and repent sincerely of our sins ofthe tongue, and then study to make improvement in taming your tongue."Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul fromtroubles" (Prov 21:23). For the sake of your Christian testimony beforethe world and for the sake of the unity of the church, bear in mind theT-O-N-G-U-E principle and consider well before you speak. Above all, pray:"Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips" (Ps141:3).